Python, Monty

11 03 2006
[humor]

Desculpem-me pelos posts gigantescos... acho que ando com verborragia.

[Holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch] King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work? Sir Lancelot: I know not, my liege. King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments. Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one. Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu... Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother... Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. Brother Maynard: Amen. All: Amen. King Arthur: Right. One... two... five. Galahad: Three, sir. King Arthur: Three.

Um dos meus filmes favoritos: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975), tirado do site Internet Movie Database (www.imdb.com)

Mais um:

1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Who goes there? King Arthur: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England! 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Pull the other one! King Arthur: I am, and this is my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Camelot. I must speak with your lord and master. 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? Ridden on a horse? King Arthur: Yes! 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You're using coconuts! King Arthur: What? 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together. King Arthur: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia, through... 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Where'd you get the coconuts? King Arthur: We found them. 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical! King Arthur: What do you mean? 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Well, this is a temperate zone King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land? 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? King Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried. 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: What? A swallow carrying a coconut? King Arthur: It could grip it by the husk! 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut. King Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here? 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right? King Arthur: Please! 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Am I right? 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Am I right? King Arthur: I'm not interested! Second Swallow-Savvy Guard: It could be carried by an African swallow. King Arthur: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot? 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Oh yeah, an African swallow, maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point. Second Swallow-Savvy Guard: But then the African swallow's not migratory...


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